Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
