Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
