I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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