Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
