you would pick up someone in the library
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
