where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
