Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
