My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
