dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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