Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
