I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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