Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
