Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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