We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
