I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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