We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
