Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just cut my nipple shaving
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
