you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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