Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
