You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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