She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
