remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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