Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're breaking my sexual little heart
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
