I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Two words: nipple clamps
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