His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
