We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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