I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Text me some of your sweat
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