At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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