Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
