you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
