Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
