Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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