Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
