Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
