it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
