My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
