Screwed.edu
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
birth control should be required to get into college
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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