what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
