you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
