She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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