By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
