Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
