I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
