is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
