I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
