that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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