Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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