i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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