oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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