One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
