i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
