Soap is not a condiment
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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